So i came in for IVs on Monday after ringing Pappy and telling them im not feeling good.. i wanted to make sure id be well for Christmas too, so they said id have to wait a while because there so busy for beds.. I said i wouldn't mind starting them at home but they said they didnt even have any room for me to wait to pick up my IVs. So i waited almost a week which wasn't to bad but i could feel my chest had got worse in that week.
Last Friday i had a panic attack, iv never had one before so this scared me alot! I took my gramps up to sainsburys and i waited in the car for him. I parked up and just put some crimbo tunes ons. I knew i wanted to cough so i got my tissues ready, but as soon as i started coughing i couldn't take a breath in, i just couldn't catch my breath...it felt like ages, i knew it was only seconds but i just couldn't calm myself i opened my car door to get fresh air and then struggled to get to my oxygen which was behind me, i finally got it on but i still couldn't breath so i whacked my oxygen up to 6Lts (didnt see that at the time). Then where i was panicking i started to wee!!! i was so embarrassed! i couldn't stop! Its funny to look back at it now and laugh but at the time it was horrible! i finally caught my breath and drove home to get changed... after that i was to scared to cough again, i spent the rest off the day in bed feeling sorry for myself. But im okay about it now and just have to be more prepared in case it happens again.
So i came in on Monday when they told me too, they said come in at 3 and your bed will be ready...Ha! i will never believe them again.. I got here at 3 like a good little lamb and i went to walk into the room they said id be in and they shouted at me not to go in there as someone was there.. The room i was going in was not ready at all, there was a young girl still in there waiting to go home. So i had to wait in the corridor until she went, an hour went by and she left then i had to wait for the cleaners to come the took another hour! So after two hours of sitting in the corridor i was aloud in! Then much to my disgust they tell me the internet doesn't work in this room! So i have no internet and no phone signal to talk to anyone! but to top it off my telly also broke the next day... i was having no luck what so ever haha but now they have moved me to a different room with internet and signal so i can be social again! hehe
My CRP (infection levels) were 55 when i came in, the dropped down to 44 but are now back at 51 for some reason, i feel like iv pick up a bit of a cold while iv been here so hopefully in a few days time it will go down and il be home for Christmas! I wanna get in the Christmas mood and its hard to when your stuck in here... Iv got my Brother and Nans birthday next week i wanna be home for, and i need to have my nails done asap!! haha
Well my weights not changed much staying the same which is good :) And i have now been on the Transplant list 3 months! wow its gone so fast! I keep having nightmares about it though..every few nights il have a dream about it and wake up all sweaty and feeling sick.. but i just have to try and not fixate on them..
So thats all folks! Il let you know when il be coming home & my crp ect.. :)
xxx
2,096 hours on the list
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