Transplant..

Transplant.. How does it make you feel when you hear it.. Do you feel anything at all or is it just another word? For me hearing that little word gives me hope, makes me feel scared,happy,sad,excited. Scared- I feel so scared about having a transplant, iv heard so many different story's.. No ones story is ever the same. I tell myself not to read them so I don't have any ideas in my head but I can't help it, I read them then I can't stop thinking about it. One of the scary facts are 9/10 people don't make it through the op. That scares me. Happy- I'm happy that at the thought that I could have this op. I could have it done and be able to do things again.. I want to do things that you probably wouldn't even think of being hard to do. I want to go for a bike ride, I want to jump on my bed, I want to take my brothers to the park and run around with them instead of sitting on the bench watching them, I want to do loads of normal things with Ben, go on holidays and travel. This makes me happy thinking I could one day do these things again. Sad- I'm sad that I'm 21 and I have lots to deal with, but not just me for my family too.. They go through everything I do, and I feel horrible that they do. It's not fair that I'm only 21 and can't do things 21year olds should be doing. It makes me sad because I feel like I have so much life to live. I feel like I'm 21 stuck in an 80 year olds body. Excited- every now and then I get little shoots of excitement go through me. I know I can do this, I can go through everything, I feel string enough and brave enough to push through it all. I want to be on the list, and be well enough to get the call to have the op. I get excited when I think of getting that call. That call that will change my life. That's what I'm aiming for now. How does it make you feel? If you didn't know it's Transplant week & it's nearly over. Iv tried this week to get people to aware of Organ donation and iv tried to get people to sign up, I only know of one person that signed up. I'm happy with that though, that one person could help and make someones life. I had my Transplant appointment today, I'm a bit disappointed though. My doctor wasn't even there. I waited with my Gramps for 2 hours as this other doctor was running late, I saw him and he said I need to see the other dr! So hes booking me an appointment to see him and also have a few more tests done before I can go on the list. But after that hopefully il be able to go on, so I'm still aiming to be on the list this year. Fingers crossed!! Thank you for reading and if you would like to sign up https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/ukt/Consent.do?campaign=1160 click here to do it :) give the gift of life!